To Ease the Passing of Time

Pete and Barney are drinking beer in a bar in Lincoln Nebraska. Pete is a democrat and Barney is a republican, but they’ve been friends for a long time, and they are still friends, and they will always be friends…in spite of everything. They are well educated and well informed, and they like to read. Pete is the owner of a health food store and Barney is an accountant. Today, they’re talking about religion.

Pete: You and I, Barney, have talked about religion many times before. You told me that you believe in God, go to church, read the Bible, and everything; and I told you that I do volunteer work in a food bank, and think it’s just as good as going to church. But we’ve never really talked about it.

Barney: That’s about it. It summarizes everything. What else could we say about it?

Pete: I don’t know, Barney, maybe you could tell me what it really means to you.

Barney: Like what?

Pete: How it’s connected to who you are, and to your values.

Barney: I‘m a republican. I believe in law and order, and I believe that religion was created to maintain law and order, and I also happen to believe in traditional values.

Pete: But is it that simple for you?

Barney: Yeah! Why make it more complicated?

Pete: Because I think it’s a little bit more complicated than that, Barney. I know that you, republicans, think that you own the Book, the tradition, the religion, the preachers, and all that; and I also know that you think that you have the moral values, the right message and the right teaching, but is that all there is to it?

Barney: To me it covers everything. What more can you add to that?

Pete: How about love and compassion?

Barney: That’s for the liberals, Pete. I’m not saying it’s wrong, but what I’m saying is that, when it comes to really serious matters like money and politics, if you take that stuff too seriously, some people will take advantage of you, and you’ll end up losing your money and your freedom.

Pete: Do you really believe that, Barney?

Barney: Of course, I believe that.

Pete: But you said you read the Bible. What do you make of what Jesus said about forgiveness, being kind and humble, and all that?

Barney: You know me Pete. I don’t read the Bible every day, but I check the value of my shares on the stock market every day.

Barney: Well Barney, I don’t agree with you, but I sure appreciate your honesty.