To Ease the Passing of Time

George was driving back home after spending the night with his mistress.That morning in January, it was snowing and the road was slippery; and George was driving a little too fast. He was also still a little bit tipsy from what he'd had to drink the night before. All of a sudden, everything went black. When he opened his eyes, George was sitting on a cloud next to a guy…or a girl-he was not too sure-who was wearing a white gown.

George: Who are you? Where the hell am I?

Pat: You’re dead. You died in a car accident. You lost control of your car, hit a garbage truck coming the other way. My name is Pat. I’m your guardian angel.

George: You’re my what?

Pat: I told you. I’m your guardian angel.

George: Yeah, right! First of all, Pat is not a name for an angel; and second of all, if you’re my guardian angel, you’re supposed to protect me, right? So, how come I’m frigging dead?

Pat: You think all angels are named Gabriel or Michael? There's a whole bunch of us. If we all had the same two names, it would be rather confusing, don’t you think?

George: Yeah, I guess so!

Pat: And about me not protecting you today, I’ll tell you this: we are not supposed to intervene when a guy’s time is up. And your time was up. But I must tell you, my friend, that I saved your life many times before your time was up.

George: You saved my life! When?

Pat: Last time was two years ago, in Mexico. Remember that lost bullet that barely missed you? You thought it was drug dealers trying to kill other drug dealers, but that bullet was meant for you, my friend. You slept with a guy’s wife, and the guy he hired to kill you was a straight shooter. I just pushed him a little bit to make him miss his target.

George: Holy shit! And before that, when did you save my life?

Pat: There were many times. You sure kept me busy during you relatively short life. I saved you from a shark when you were snorkeling in Jamaica, from an avalanche in Whistler, from an icicle falling from a roof in Ottawa.

George: I remember that. Thanks buddy! I was coming out of Wendy’s apartment. I had met her in a club the night before. It fell right in front of me, a big frigging icicle.

Pat: There were many other times like when you were a kid on your bicycle and when you were a teenager on a motorcycle.

George: And what’s going to happen to me now?

Pat: You’re scheduled to appear before the judge in five minutes. As far as I’m concerned, my job is over. I’ll be assigned another guy soon. It was a pleasure protecting you, George. If you want, I’ll keep you company until you are called.

George: Yeah, that would be great! Since you were always there with me all along, can I ask you a few questions?

Pat: Sure, go ahead! I’ll do best to answer you.

George: As a matter of fact, Pat, I have only one question: where did I go wrong?

Pat: There were many times that you went wrong, George, but there’s one decision that you made that changed the course of your life for the worse.

George: What was that, Pat?

Pat: Remember that girl you rejected about thirty years ago after you made her pregnant? Her name was Alice. You thought she was not pretty and sexy enough for you. You took off in the middle of the night and never tried to contact her again.

George: Yeah, I remember. I often thought about her after.

Pat: I know. All I can tell you is that if you had decided to spend your life with her, Alice would have made you a very happy man. She would have brought out the best in you.

George: Deep down inside, I always knew that. It seems that all my life I was running away from myself, from that bad decision that I made, drinking too much and having affairs left and right, just to forget. Do you think I should tell that to the judge, I mean that I regret my poor decision and everything? Do you think it would help my case?

Pat: You won’t have to say anything to the judge, George. He knows you, and he knows that you are sorry. The judge that you are about to meet is not like any other judge. He has more love, forgiveness and compassion for you that you can ever imagine. Trust me!