To Ease the Passing of Time

Are we spending too much time online? Are we trading the real world for a fantasy? There is not only one right answer to those questions. I guess it depends a lot on what you are looking for and what you do online. In this article I’m going to tell you about three people, including me, who have different online experiences. The first one is definitely negative, the second clearly positive and the last one, mine, is a little bit of both.

Illusion

Last summer, a guy that I know texted me to say that he wanted to come to our cottage to kayak. To me, what we did was not really kayaking. We spent about forty minutes on the water taking pictures that the guy was going to post on his Facebook page to show his friends that he was kayaking. For me, you are really kayaking when you let your mind wander as you look at the birds and the sky, when you feel the sun and the wind on your skin, and when your heart is pumping a little faster from the exercise you are doing. From what I can see, what is important, not only for that guy but for a lot of people, is not dancing, hiking or cooking but taking pictures of themselves doing those things to post on Facebook for their friends to see.

That guy is not the only one like that. For a lot of people, showing other people that they are doing interesting things is a lot more important than actually doing those things. When I travel I often see tourists taking pictures of themselves in front of famous attractions or scenery. They are taking pictures of themselves looking at things that they don’t even see. To me, that’s not real life; it’s an illusion of life.

Extension 

Maria spends a lot of time on Messenger talking with her sister in Vietnam. She does it while preparing food and cleaning up the house. In the summer, at the cottage, she takes her phone with her to the garden when she pulls out the weeds and waters her vegetables and flowers. They chat, they discuss about family matters, they remain silent for a while, they laugh, and sometimes they even cry. In Vietnam, her sister lives in the country and I often hear roosters crowing and dogs barking in the background. When I walk by, if I see that Maria is talking with her sister, I say a few words to her, only a few words because she doesn’t speak English or French, but I feel somehow connected to her. When she has visitors, her sister introduces them to Maria. She shows her what she bought at the market and Maria does the same for the stuff that she buys in the stores or online.

For me, the online relationship that Maria has with her sister is as close to real life as it can get. I’m sure that Maria spends more quality time with her sister than a lot of people with their siblings who live in the same city.

Limitation

When I retired a few years ago, I created a blog in which I post articles that I write on different subjects. One of my goals was to recreate with my close friends and family members the discussions and conversations that I had with my friends and colleagues at work. I soon realized that while it’s possible to have interesting and meaningful exchanges online, it’s impossible to replicate the lively and spontaneous conversations and discussions that one can have in real life. You cannot artificially recreate something that no longer exists. People have other interests, priorities and preoccupations. But I must say that I had a surprisingly good reaction to an article that I wrote about the therapeutic virtues of writing and to many other articles that I posted. I also made a friend in France who has a very interesting blog.

Yesterday, Maria and I went to Maniwaki to visit my mother, my sister and my brother-in-law. After sharing a meal together, Maria and I took a walk with my sister to the hospital to see my mother. That brief time we spent together made me realize that life is also with the real and wonderful people who are part of your life now. I'm not saying that the connections I have online are not good. They can be very positive and enriching experiences but they have their limitations.

Those are only three experiences. There are a lot more out there. Some of them are negative, others are positive, and like mine, some are partly positive and partly negative. I guess that’s also true for life in general. It all depends on your expectations, how you look at it, and what you are willing to invest in it.

Your life online can also be a reflection of your real life.