To Ease the Passing of Time

While he was under the knife on the operation table, reverend Henry Gilmore’s soul left his body and went, as many people who had a near death experience describe it, through a long and dark tunnel that looked like a funnel. At the end of that tunnel, there was, of course, light, but there was also an old man with a curly beard sitting behind a wooden desk. On the desk, there were two books: The Registry Book and The Holy Book. The first one was open at the page with the entry for Henry Gilmore; the second one was closed, but there were two bookmarks in it. Behind the desk, there were two elevators: one going up and one going down. Henry sat down on a chair facing the old man.

“Am I dead?” asked Henry.

“Technically, but not officially”, answered the old man.

“Technically, but not officially! What the hell does that mean?”

“It means that after our little discussion there is a possibility that you may return on earth for a few more years.”

“You must be God then”, said Henry.

“No, I’m not God. I’m Saint Peter. I’m God’s secretary in chief. I’m responsible for check-ins and checkouts.”

“Checkouts! I thought there was only check-ins here, no checkouts.”

“A lot of souls check out of purgatory to go to heaven.”

“So, the Catholics were right! There is a purgatory.”

“Of course, the Catholics were right! What do you think?”

“Listen, you know damn well that I’m not a Catholic, but you also know that I'm an ordained Baptist minister who's been preaching the word of God for many years throughout the South of the United States. I must say that during all those years serving the Lord, I brought a lot of lost souls to Jesus. I should go to heaven right away. Let me talk to your boss.”

“There’s no need to call Jesus, Henry, but there are two things I’d like to clarify with you.”

“What’s that, Peter?” Can I call you Peter?”

“Yes, you can call me Peter if you want. The first thing I’d like to talk to you about is the prosperity gospel you are preaching. You know what Jesus said about God and money.”

Saint Peter opened The Holy Book where the first bookmark was and read:

“Yes, but…”, Henry started to say.

“I think that’s clear enough”, Saint Peter interrupted.

“And the other thing you wanted to talk to me about?” said Henry.

Saint Peter slowly opened The Holy Book again where the second bookmark was and started reading:

“How does this apply to me? I’ve always been a good Christian. I give money, food and my old clothes to the poor. And just last week, I visited a friend in prison to comfort him”, said Henry.

“Yeah, the friend you visited in prison was sentenced to five years for stealing money from his congregation…like you sometimes do.”

Henry looked down and did not say a word. Saint Peter stood up as if to show Henry that the interview was almost over.

“And what about all that hate towards the migrants and refugees that you spread in your sermons? Did it occur to you that if Jesus came in this world today, he could very well be a migrant or a refugee?” Why do you keep repeating what the former President of your country said about migrants and refugees, that they are all criminals and rapists, that nobody should show them any kind of compassion and mercy, that children of migrants should be separated from their parents when they get to the border…to teach them a lesson?”

Yes, but you have to understand that there are rules. We cannot open our borders to all who claim they are refugees. We have to protect ourselves, our properties, and our children.”

“I understand that, Henry. Believe me, I get it, but what I’m saying is that while you should be careful and suspicious of certain individuals, you should not eliminate completely love and compassion from your heart under the pretext that there are terrorists and criminals among the migrants and refugees. What type of questions did you think you were going to be asked when you got here, Henry: Did you manage your money properly? Did you get good return on your investments? Did you protect the borders of your country? Did you make sure everybody was allowed to carry a gun?” I’m going to send you back to earth for a few more years, Henry. And while you’re there, just keep in mind that according toThe Holy Book I’m holding in my hands now, Jesus did not come down to earth to make some people’s lives more prosperous, comfortable and safe, but to save all souls, including mine and yours.”

When Henry Gilmore opened his eyes, the surgeon who was operating on him and his assistants could not believe he was still alive.