To Ease the Passing of Time

You are driving alone on a country road listening to music on an old CD that you made 10 or 15 years ago. You are not really listening; you are more like thinking about all the things that randomly come to your mind: what you already did to clean up your backyard and what you have left to do to finish the job. You think about your oncoming trip at the end of next week: what you have already put in your suitcase and what else you’ll need to put in it, whether you should bring your red or your blue sweater.

And your mind starts travelling to different times and places as if it had a mind of its own. You think about your brother-in-law who died in a car accident on the same road you are driving today. It makes you think about your own death. You hope it won’t be too painful and that it won’t take too long. You are afraid that you are going to die alone. You think about your old and sick 18 year old cat, and you wonder how much longer she will be with you and your wife. You make an effort to think about something else.

You go back to the conversation you had with your friend this morning while having breakfast in a restaurant. You talked about how rapidly the world is changing, about how life and people used to be when you were young. You expressed your worries about whether or not your language and your culture will be able to survive in this brand new world. You decided that it was better not to think about it because at our age we won’t be here much longer anyway, but still…

And then, there is a song on that old CD that you made 10 or 15 years ago, a beautiful song that you had forgotten about. When it starts playing, your mind stops turning and wandering, and it’s like time had suddenly ceased to exist. You feel that you are part of the universe and that everything is mysteriously connected. You remember that you had that feeling a few times before, but in completely different surroundings and circumstances. It’s like you could reach the stars with your hands, like your soul was bigger than yourself and that it will still be alive after you die.

When you get back home, you look for the title of that song and you find out that it’s called Immortal Memory. That’s what happened to me today.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VXds_l8UyHI